Happy Monday, finally the sun has come out and we can see blue skies again. Although we needed the rain to alleviate the summer drought, I am relieved to have blue skies for the Christmas holidays.
This weekend was the beginning of making new Christmas memories. This is our 3rd Christmas in Monti della Tolfa and despite the damp weather we were determined to entertain in our house this year. It is something we have looked forward to for some time as the last 2 Christmas holidays were spent in lockdown. In the summer everyone lives outside. Here in the mountains, people flow with the seasons. In the summer, when the weather is great and the days are long no one wants to be inside. Summers are for hanging out in the piazza and being at the sea in the afternoons. We met in the garden or at a bar for aperitivo and at 8 pm at a restaurant for dinner which could go on until 1 am.
With winter, dark evenings, and the constant rain we are left to be indoors as soon as it gets dark. Italians are people persons. They love to be together so being indoors alone is a no no. We took the opportunity of a rainy weekend to host a party with friends. Since the beginning of the school term, we have been preoccupied and busy with the children being the center of attention and life. So for the weekend we would be the party hosts. Actually, it was Riccardo’s birthday on Saturday, so it was a perfect excuse to celebrate his birthday and our friendships with some of Riccardo’s oldest friends whom he has known since he was fourteen. In Italy, friendships are for life.
Preparation for a get-together with friends is simple. No stress. As long as we have pizza, and lots to nibble and drink. The party is about friendships. We ordered pizza from our favorite pizzeria in Allumiere, L'Ora Della Pizza 2. Perfect small squares with a thin crispy crust that I like. Why are Italians able to eat pizza every day? It is not dripping with an uncertain oil and filled with uncertain cheese. The best ingredients are used in effortless combinations. Pizza Margherita – marinara sauce and mozzarella and only marinara are the most common flavors. Marinara in its simplicity tomatoes, garlic, oregano, and basil. Cooked for an hour sometimes to make a thick sauce and topped onto that thin crust. The specialty at pizza due (number 2 because there is another in Tolfa only 2 miles away owned by his brother) is one of my favorites. Thinly sliced marinated eggplant baked on a white pizza (no cheese) and top with slivers of parsley. No guilt is to be had when having a slice of pizza still warm from the forno.
From the Macelleria in Tolfa, Riccardo bought sausages of all kinds, liver, spicy and sweet. Copietta – a dried pig jerky flavored with fennel seeds, herbs, and some with pepper flakes. Marinated green olives and diced tomatoes dosed in a generous portion of olive oil and sprinkled with sea salt.
My new friend Jodi came to visit. Another Jamaican in Italy. The second Jamaican living in Italy that I know of so far. It was a perfect weekend for her immersion into the Italian language as in Florence where she lives it is much harder to be in conversation with Italians. So many speak English and to me, Florence feels quite Americanized. Jodi and I were trying to figure out what else we could put on the table. We had gorgonzola, walnuts, and pastry shells and decided to combine the cheese with walnuts and bind them with honey and olive oil. First, the walnuts sprinkled with salt were toasted in the oven for 4 minutes at 160 C. The honey and olive oil mixture were poured over the warm nuts and the cheese was added which melted easily into the mixture. Then Jodi spooned the mixture into the warmed readymade pastry shells. Something was missing and thought about adding a pear slice to the mixture. I always make a pear arugula salad topped with walnuts. It was a hit. The salty gorgonzola combined with the nutty flavor is slightly addictive.
Everyone arrived around 8 pm and if you don’t know that is the usual dinner time for Italians.
We pulled out the ends of the dining table which is usually shortened for 4 people and turned out sofa around so that we had enough seating for 10 people. This we could not do during the time of COVID. How we once again take it for granted. All huddled cozily close to each other like we love to do - no masks. I think all of us by now even if vaccinated have gotten covid at least once if not twice. We are determined to live life without this crazy fear that we had the last 2 years. Being with friends is essential to Italian culture. Drawing energy from one another is what sustains our lives.
Traditionally, the men sit on one side and the women on the other. Many years ago when I did not know enough Italian and relied on Riccardo, I found this disconcerting. Now I can see the value in the sexes bonding and sharing their own conversations, secrets, and advice. The ladies were trying to find a finanzata for Jodi and one suggested an unmarried cousin! Later in the night, the seating arrangement would change as we moved around getting more comfortable on the sofa.
After toasting our friendship and Riccardo’s birthday with Prosecco, Roberto passed around the homemade red wine he brought. I am surprised to learn it was made by one of my neighbours. But then I shouldn’t be. Making homemade wine is a thing in these parts. I am fascinated as I walk home in the evening from Italian class to see wine being made in someone’s cellar. Tucked away in a cave-like structure that I would have passed by many times and not have known existed. House wine has the strong taste of grapes. It is sweet and misleading because one can think it is grape juice. Too much too fast and you can become drunk quite quickly. This mistake I made on one of my first trips to Italy. Jodi loved it. We thought it would be perfect to marinate dried fruits to make our Jamaican Christmas cake.
As the evening went on with loud chatter, everyone talking at once, and laughter. It felt so good to once again be able to just hang out with friends. My Italian friends are natural actors and comedians so the entire evening was spent in well-needed laughter. Later Luigi took control of my guitar which I had lying around. It seems common to me now that there is always someone in the group who knows how to play a musical instrument. The guitar is a popular accompaniment to encourage the breakout of singing. Check out La Societa Dei Magnaccioni by Lando Fiorini. It is a popular Roman song that began the rounds of singing.
By midnight rapidly spoken Italian, the glowing fireplace and the house wine begin to slow down my brain. At this point, I am reveling in the company and good feeling flow of chatting, singing, and laughter. I had a flashback. This was how it was growing up in Jamaica. I look back, how did we survive those dire days of life in Jamaica? Jamaica is not an easy place to grow up. It is beautiful as it is harsh and complicated. Our friendships. We may not have had a lot materially but we had good friends. Like Italians, my friendships in Jamaica have lasted since high school and University days oh so many years ago.
In high school, during lunch period and after school, at my catholic high school in Kingston, although dressed in a white uniform we sat on the floor cross-legged in a circle to eat our lunch outside under the shaded trees. At the University of the West Indies, we lymed (Caribbean slang for hanging out) on the steps of the library in between classes. Always with much laughter and jokes. There was at least one comedian amongst us. I have missed this so much.
At 1 am we said goodnight, with not one but two kisses on each cheek and good squeezable hugs. What we all needed as adults that have stressful busy lives – a moment to forget our responsibilities and be young and light again. Friendships here are never superficial. There is much involvement and the sheer pleasure of being together encompassed, joy, disagreement, physical closeness, and a whole range of emotions. There is nothing like the simple delight of the company of a friend or friends.
In Raeleen D Agostino Mautner’s book Living La Dolce Vita, she talks about the art of friendship, amicizia. Friendship is one of the constants of Italian culture and many Italians describe friendship as the most important aspect of their life, equivalent to that of family. Intimate friends often become family especially when blood relatives are out of reach and that is what my friends in the Tolfa Mountains have become to me.
Although it should be a happy time, Christmas can be a dark time for many. The number one can be loneliness. One should not be alone during the holidays. The difference I feel here in Italy is that Christmas is not commercialized. I do not feel the bombardment of advertisements to shop for things. The Christmas tree and presents on the Christmas tree are not the center and focus of this season. It does help that as Christians we do live in a country where the majority of people practice the same religion so there is no thought or worry about offending another culture. The focus of Christmas is the advent season. Lighting the candles on Sunday to represents hope, love, joy, and the last one this Sunday was peace. So many of these things we need to share.
After mass the Sunday the sun came out. Just before Jodi had to head back to Florence we went for a walk around old Tolfa where I have been taking my guitar lessons. It is a must to walk back in time to the medieval castle when you come for a visit to the Tolfa Mountains. While Allumiere is considered Renaissance, Tolfa goes back to the 1100s and is considered a medieval town.
See my blog post I wrote on a quick tour of Tolfa
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I wish you much hope, love, joy and peace, and good friendships this Christmas.
Ciao for now
J